Hello my friend, welcome to the world! And what a journey it’s been.
First there was the front: the character you unconsciously sculpted and acted out, to try to earn admiration, love and approval—to try to belong. But the truth is strong in you, you couldn’t live the lie; it was all too heavy and exhausting, and didn’t satisfy.
And so you dared to open the box of the unconscious, to venture through the numbness and meet the sad, scared little one, shivering with fear, that feels alone, unwanted, unloved, uncared for, who cannot cry for fear of humiliation and further rejection; and then the rationalisation—that you must be unworthy, inadequate, broken to be experiencing such things—and the shame and guilt for being such a failure.
In holding that little one with love, unconditionally, you opened the doorway to compassion.
And then going deeper still: ah, not just broken, but fucked up; a hopeless, pathetic, useless piece of shit, rancid and unholy, the devil himself, disgusting, depraved, abominable—a wild and savage beast.
In sensing your feet, breathing deep, and consciously opening to the animal in you, to the ‘darkness’ of life that you’d learned so well to suppress, you reclaimed your vitality, potency and passion, your sensuality and sexuality, your creativity, your very life-force; you found the power and strength to begin to shed the old skin, to break out of the cocoon, to push through the birth canal and take your rightful place, to receive your natural inheritance: to BE who you really are!
And then came the terror . . . of letting go of the old familiar, the safe smallness, the false sense of belonging, and stepping fully into your true immensity; the fear of the responsibility of it, of fucking up BIG TIME; “You are not allowed,” said the old guard at the gate, “You don’t have permission.”
In hearing the primal scream from deep within, as if rising up from the very bowels of the earth herself, like a valiant knight, riding into battle with sword held high, you roared into the face of death, riding through all fear, NO MATTER WHAT.
And today is your birth-day. Welcome to the world my friend! It’s the birth of your very soul, here in the physical; the old skin is shed, the butterfly is out. I SEE YOU.
It’s the holy coronation, with fanfares of trumpets: stepping up to the throne, taking responsibility, to BE and DO what you’re here to BE and DO, unique in all of time and space—to live fully alive!
And who am I, this narrator of your heroic journey? I am you of course! And this, our birth-day, is not a one-time-only event, but to be repeated over and over, as life continually washes away any fixed position; our ‘birth-moment’: the eternal invitation to meet oneself ever more deeply.
As I close my eyes, the image of a black rose appears; a symbol of mystery, death, rebirth and eternal love. And now there is just gratitude: I love you so much. Thank you for my licence to live, for the permission to be, for the miracle of THIS—and the exquisite perfection with which it all unfolds.
Here I stand, a humble servant; for my will is thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
